| Date |
Story title |
Comment |
|
|
|
| 2011-07-09 03:14:34 |
Body Of A Man, Mind Of A Machine 9: The Hidden Hand That Shaped History |
Great chapter again bro.
Sad to see that is is coming to a close but everything must end i guess :c.
Hope the next chapter comes up soon
B1G. |
| 2011-06-24 16:50:38 |
Talia: Part Two |
Great to see another chapter. I really like the fact that talia has feelings for stephan, hope to see another chapter very soon |
| 2011-05-27 14:28:09 |
Victorious part 10 |
bull shit this is poor, this is a great series, just kinda wish the chapters where a little longer, but other then that, i hope to see more.
B1G. |
| 2011-05-19 14:50:57 |
MY SISTER'S PUNCHING BAG PART 4 |
nice ending lol, because i'm really hating that little bitch amy haha.
Any great to see another chapter hope to see the next one soon. |
| 2011-05-15 03:16:34 |
A Kind Stranger 4 |
Cant wait for ch 5 , such a great story bro. |
| 2011-05-13 04:06:03 |
The Therapy I Needed |
Take your time if you need it bro, even more so if you're on meds that's hindering you, we don't want you not being able to ever put out a story ;D. |
| 2011-05-10 20:53:08 |
The Therapy I Needed |
It seems that someone likes redheads =].
Lol but anyway great story, and i too would like to se more of the story.
waiting for ch.8 of full circle also >.>, and of course "how i met her" too. |
| 2011-05-07 17:29:01 |
Body Of A Man, Mind Of A Machine 3: The Mental Precipice |
I agree with Fix'm, this needs to continue but i really cant see you doing more for this story.
Great story, loved every part of it, i will have to read your other ones now because of this.
B!G. |
| 2011-05-05 04:25:11 |
Full Circle - Chapter Seven |
Beautifully done my friend, so happy to see another chapter up.
Not much to say, except i hope to see the next one soon.
B!G. |
| 2011-04-30 02:45:22 |
Brave New World 1 |
this was a pretty good story, wish there was more in this chapter,
but i can see that this story could be really good i hope you post more soon. |
| 2011-04-23 02:32:02 |
Talia: Part One |
After i read this story i said out loud
"That was awesome"
in a cool, mello way.
Great story bro, i really don't have any complaints here, besides maybe you could show some more description on how they look so we could see them more clearly in our mind, tho i did get the jist of how they look so its not that big of a deal.
Hope to see more parts soon. |
| 2011-04-10 01:33:50 |
The Siblings |
Great story, glad you posted it.
I hope you post the other parts very soon. |
| 2011-03-14 08:16:03 |
|
man i gotta say this series is ridiculously legendary.
i love the length of each chapter,
i love the people in each chapter,
i love how depictive it is on such a great scale, like chapter 5 was paul telling dawn the story, the way you wrote was so amazingly right on how a person would tell it, is crazy...
i would be very very sad to not see anymore chapters for this story |
| 2011-03-10 05:08:45 |
|
a-fucking-mazing..i was pretty much hard through out the hole story...
at one point i had to stop so i could masturbate because it was getting annoying, but then i came back to reading your story and right away i got hard again..>.> |
| 2011-02-13 17:27:17 |
I Lust My Sister Meridian |
Bro, what a great story, i really hope to see more from you. |
| 2011-01-20 12:22:29 |
What Happened Last Night? |
It was very interesting was a little disappointed that they didnt have sex but still, non-the less good.
I hope to see a sequel to this in the near future. |
| 2011-01-20 12:22:25 |
What Happened Last Night? |
It was very interesting was a little disappointed that they didnt have sex but still, non-the less good.
I hope to see a sequel to this in the near future. |
| 2010-08-31 04:58:29 |
|
I was very confused....he is supposed to be her uncle and yet he keeps calling her sis....
Also not only did it seem to fast paced for me, but you didn't start to describe the girl's features until the middle of the story....why is that?
B!G. |
| 2010-08-22 03:00:42 |
|
I love how in my last three post of my going on about you that i made so many mistakes while writing lol. But then again i was not making a story with the intention for people to like and read. |
| 2010-08-22 02:56:22 |
|
(continue from last post)...
What i think you should do is re-edit all the chapters into one big post. You know add in everything that's missing, maybe throw in some extra scenes, so you know to really help us get a feel for the characters.
Now i know it sounds like I'm being a little selfish or trying to hard to sound like i know what I'm talking about, but the reason I'm saying all this is because i really wanna see more from you. Either a different story or more of this one.
I hope to see more from you, and i will check back to see if you added any more story's.
B!G.
P.S: There was not that much detail on what the girls looked like such height, weight, color of hair ect. So that's definitely one of the reasons i would love to see you re-post this story. |
| 2010-08-22 02:41:10 |
|
(continue from above)
(sorry about double post it logged me out for some reason and re-posted it)
During the sex scenes i would to know what faces are being made, what noises are being said, what is the body doing during, i want to know if names are being called, i want to know if she biting her lip as to not make to much noise, i want to know if her hands are grabbing on to the sheets or his neck or his shoulders or his ass, i also want to know what he is saying and doing during the sec scenes. Now you do add some of that detail but just the bare minimum, so much so it seems as tho that she just lays there and doesn't move while he just humps away until he is finished. Again i want to see some more time of him and sarah, even more so there sex scenes, which brings me to my next part.
There was no mention of how close him and sarah was until he proposed, that had me going WTF WHEN DID THEY FALL IN LOVE, It was like you just kept skipping parts.
(continue to next post)...
|
| 2010-08-22 02:24:50 |
|
The last 4 chapters was not as bad as the first 1 when it came to to the words but instead the chapters got shorter....
But there was one thing that was missing that annoyed me, and that was the time that went by in the story. I can only assume that its been almost 2 years since he moved in because of the ages that you said the girls at currently at. Also in chapter 2 all of a sudden it was a year later and the was no mention of that in the beginning. And in chapter 5 the younger daughter was 11, last i knew she was 9 while the older one was 12, now shes 11 while katie is 13, that does not fit.
Another thing bothered me, and that was how easy it was to seduce him into have sexual relations with katie. I the reason it seemed so easy to me was because you didn't really write what was going threw his mind as much as i would like, which brings me to my next part of my CRITICISM if you will, and that is that there was not enough description/detail during the sex scenes.
continue next |
| 2010-08-22 01:24:42 |
|
It feels like the dialogue was not well typed, or that English is not your first language. But mainly it was like you were missing words in places.
You also used the word bum a lot, i understand, seeing that it says that you're from the UK, but i think you should try to use different meaning instead of that. I also noted that you used 2 in place of the word two.
well besides that i will still continue reading seeing how this seems to be a good story, i just hop that the other chapters aren't as chopped as this one.
B!G |
| 2010-08-22 00:52:09 |
Sharing My Room WIth Sis: Deep Asleep |
Glad to see another chapter come up. Was a great chapter but i just wish it was a little longer, anyway hoping to see ch 6 soon.
B!G. |
| 2010-08-22 00:47:19 |
Mom's surprise at basic training |
Great story liked it but i would jut like more details when it came to the sex part of the story. Like the feel of her insides and explain what how how he or she was doing, like the part when she was giving him a blow job. I felt like the sex scenes went by too fast. Also you should give more details of the male character as to know what he looks like.
B!G. |
| 2010-08-20 14:14:59 |
Marianna. Part 1 |
Hoping to see part 2 very soon.
And when it come to the beginning part i liked it...i like story's with actual STORY to it lol. |
| 2010-08-09 20:01:32 |
Sharing My Room With Sis: Sharing My Computer |
a very interesting story...can't wait till ch 5 |
| 2010-08-06 17:38:14 |
Tommy and Jade |
Great story....would love to see more.
Only one problem tho...when you wrote this..."Tommy didnt even realize that Jade had unclasped his belt, and was starting to snake her hands into her boxers.
J-Jade! I-Im about to-
I know, Jade said after she took Toms cock out of her mouth. I want it, all of it. Cum for me.
You never mentioned that she was doing that to him and yet she just happened to be there.That's the only real mistake i can see |