| Date |
Story title |
Comment |
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| 2011-10-29 21:39:33 |
Sex Party |
Terrific writing. You succeeded in putting the reader in the room with the characters. Very well coordinated physical movement and description. Believable, good characters with realistic inner lives, story is absolutely plausible. Nice organization and context resulted in good story line movement and tempo. Keep it up. You're a natural pornographer. :) |
| 2011-07-14 00:24:18 |
A Summer 'Job' |
Oh, one last thing. Keep your paragraphs short. When you proof it after writing you'll see the change in subject. This gives the reader the opportunity to visualize the paragraph's content before moving on. |
| 2011-07-14 00:20:25 |
A Summer 'Job' |
Great story, well written. You handled the subject realistically and told it from a teen's point of view. I worry sometimes that my writing is too detailed, its one reason I haven't posted here yet. The readers here seem to want stories to be hot, but our culture's ADD causes them to skim over the top of the story. So, your story received good ratings because it was convenient (in a way). You used a lot of action verbs and established the choreography of body placement and movement very well. I call the movement of dick into pussy what it's most commonly known as: fucking. As in "he fucked in and out of her pussy". It's raw and incendiary. One of the commenters referred to integrating activities outside of sex in the story. These additions add color and atmosphere. I like the way you used the sounds and smells of fucking. You give "good porn". Keep it up. |
| 2011-04-11 18:02:53 |
A Family Thing part 2 |
A nice twist at the end. It's obvious that Liv had fantasized for a long time about her father and never saw him as her father. She wanted him as the perfect man. Her not calling her Daddy doesn't take away a bit from the story. It is his shock and his reaction that makes this a unique incest story. I like that as a change of pace from all the other tired story lines available at this site. |
| 2011-04-11 18:02:45 |
A Family Thing part 2 |
A nice twist at the end. It's obvious that Liv had fantasized for a long time about her father and never saw him as her father. She wanted him as the perfect man. Her not calling her Daddy doesn't take away a bit from the story. It is his shock and his reaction that makes this a unique incest story. I like that as a change of pace from all the other tired story lines available at this site. |
| 2011-04-11 17:38:21 |
A Family Thing part 1 |
Tremendous writing. All good writers keep their stories in 3 or 4 sentences per paragraph at most. Your scene "flowed" (boy did it) and you characters and descriptions are well thougth out. I am just dicovering you and will read all your stories. Great work! |
| 2010-12-30 23:59:12 |
WHAT WONDERS WEED WORKS ON MOM |
Terrific story structure. Well described characters that are highly believable. I favor serendipity like this where unexpected opportunity meets human nature in a common setting. It is not a stretch to accept the circumstances of their coupling like many of the stories posted here. You have an excellent ground set of characters to build on. Weaving the mother's past before marriage and her unfulfilled desires could bring much heat to her affair with her son. Good start. Can't wait to see more! |
| 2010-12-30 23:58:06 |
WHAT WONDERS WEED WORKS ON MOM |
Terrific story structure. Well described characters that are highly believable. I favor serendipity like this where unexpected opportunity meets human nature in a common setting. It is not a stretch to accept the circumstances of their coupling like many of the stories posted here. You have an excellent ground set of characters to build on. Weaving the mother's past before marriage and her unfulfilled desires could bring much heat to her affair with her son. Good start. Can't wait to see more! |
| 2010-08-03 18:34:01 |
Vacation at the beach |
"Mom just held her hand out to Sarah, come on, lets get this stiff picked up and go back to the house. You're Freudian slip is showing man! :P
Great writing, hot word pictures that puts the reader right into the action. I like your style and approach. Keep it up. (Is that not possible?) |
| 2010-07-29 16:57:31 |
New Daughter, Chapter 1 |
I like the way Daddycums tells a story. He develops characters and context, word pictures that put you "there". It's a challenge Daddy, I plan to start posting soon! |