Comments from dav31092
|2011-10-16 06:24:31||My Cousin Joan||OK fine i will elaborate. Your story was very difficult to read due to the fact in one of the main plot points you kept saying she instead of the persons name which made it very difficult to follow.
"The new woman had two children, a son, the same age as Joan, and a younger daughter. She was offered a job as an Au Pair in Sweden but soon said she leaving as she had a fixation for the son and all was revealed when he gave his mother a letter Joan had sent telling him how she wanted to have his baby. "
That little segment destroyed your story for me.
And dont give me your criticism if you have no idea what you are talking about. How can you get confused by my simple plot structure. All that happened was the kids mother died he moved to canada to start over meets a woman falls in love with her then eventually gets with her. Not that hard to get confused by the simple dialog and insignificant details. Or were you confused by the soft core writing.
|2011-11-23 13:05:32||Happy Thanksgiving Aunt Amy||I loved it but i would recommend spacing you paragraphs.|
|2011-12-05 22:26:07||Bait and Switch Ch. 11||I usually never comment on stories but you have me coming back just to look for the next addition to this story. It is purely amazing.|
|2011-12-17 03:08:10||Merry Christmas and A Happy New Year - Part 1||It was Ight but i would suggest slowing down just a tad.|
|2012-01-16 21:08:55||Lost control in Library and Fucked her brains out||I have to give you some props on this. I liked it and that is more than most people receive from me. I would just go into my detail on the sex aspect of the story. 8/10 from me.|