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Comments from DoomCock
Date Story title Comment
2013-03-01 12:35:18 Kimmy, My Cumslut: Chapter 7 - Kimmy's Joyful Tears This is chapter 8, I apologize for the typo. Things have started to settle down in my life recently, thank Christ, so my new stories, as well as the omnibus for this leg of Kimmy's story will shortly be released. Meanwhile, please do not use the character arcs from this short story in any works of your own. If for no other reason as both Rob and Kimmy will be appearing, albeit in cameos basically, in at least two other stories I'll be working on, and they all progress chronologically, so this one came first, etc. Then I plan to combine the story arcs of those collected characters into an all new story dealing with all of them and their shared lives. So stay tuned, big goings-on inthis warped mind of mine!
2013-01-17 13:21:51 Incest Gymnastics Why are you posting thank you comments about your own story...? I've said it before; plagiarism, plain and simple. Or, worse yet, but far more likely, simple stupidity...
2013-01-15 04:20:24 Kimmy, My Cumslut: Chapter 6 - Kimmy's Passion Anonymous 2013-01-12 20:28:19 - If by "No 10 year old would invoke the type of language..." you mean a girl so young wouldn't talk that way, I challenge you to expose one to hardcore porn at age 8 and see what kind of language she uses. Prior to and even including the "last two chapters", I both explain and then heavily allude to this fact about her several times. As to my failed delivery on my prior promises, I admit it was never my intention to take more than a year writing/finishing this story, but it's hardly a life priority. In the span of a month, my father fell ill and died, my marriage nearly ended as a result, and I had to find a new job. So forgive me if my not pandering to you and your critical ilk by keeping my timetable to a tee somehow offends you. Oh, and by the way, your 5 out of 10 seems to be based on your heavily biased opinion of me as a writer, not the actual story, characters, or anything about my actual writing. Hope you're not an actual critic in real li
2012-12-21 10:25:54 Kimmy, My Cumslut: Chapter 5 - Kimmy's Confession After the stroke and subsequent death of my father, my marriage bring put to the test by several things, my overall emotional rollercoaster, and other equally quarrelsome factors, I'm finally getting back to my old routine and my little Kimmy. There are only three chalets left to this tale, after which I'll start working on a new tandem story. I intend to release the final three chapters all at once, and I'm almost done polishing chapter 9, so after the new year at the latest, Kimmy's saga will continue and conclude.
2012-11-29 23:17:05 A Mother and Daughter Affair (the Whole Story) This is already a rewrite... The title attache (Whole Story) suggests that this was an omnibus of several previously written chapters. There are no real chapter breaks unless you count the change in perspective, and neither this or anything with the same characters or same situations have been posted here previously. This further suggests this is not an original story. This, by itself, doesn't bother me, it's a good story. But give credit where it's due, please. If this is your story, I would give a full review, but I don't believe that it is. Write something original. I've yet seen any consistency of style, use of grammar or story structure in anything you've posted.
2012-08-24 22:39:51 Kimmy, My Cumslut: Chapter 4 - Kimmy's Beaten Buns To any fans I may have acquired, I have a short apology and message for you: I hit a severe amount of writer's block trying to come up with the next several chapters. But after getting a new job, speaking with a very talented playwright and poet, and just taking some time off from Kimmy in general, I'm proud to announce that within a week, not only will chapter 5 be released, but chapter 6 as well! So stay tuned, the beautiful blonde little minx you've come to love is coming back soon!
2012-08-24 22:39:01 Kimmy, My Cumslut: Chapter 3 - Kimmy's Hungry Starfish To any fans I may have acquired, I have a short apology and message for you: I hit a severe amount of writer's block trying to come up with the next several chapters. But after getting a new job, speaking with a very talented playwright and poet, and just taking some time off from Kimmy in general, I'm proud to announce that within a week, not only will chapter 5 be released, but chapter 6 as well! So stay tuned, the beautiful blonde little minx you've come to love is coming back soon!
2012-08-24 22:38:25 Kimmy, My Cumslut: Chapter 2 - Kimmy's Eager Kitty To any fans I may have acquired, I have a short apology and message for you: I hit a severe amount of writer's block trying to come up with the next several chapters. But after getting a new job, speaking with a very talented playwright and poet, and just taking some time off from Kimmy in general, I'm proud to announce that within a week, not only will chapter 5 be released, but chapter 6 as well! So stay tuned, the beautiful blonde little minx you've come to love is coming back soon!
2012-08-24 22:36:59 Kimmy, My Cumslut: Chapter 1 - Kimmy's Empty Stomach To any fans I may have acquired, I have a short apology and message for you: I hit a severe amount of writer's block trying to come up with the next several chapters. But after getting a new job, speaking with a very talented playwright and poet, and just taking some time off from Kimmy in general, I'm proud to announce that within a week, not only will chapter 5 be released, but chapter 6 as well! So stay tuned, the beautiful blonde little minx you've come to love is coming back soon!
2012-06-02 02:11:06 THE NEW GODS 2: "Amber Stamber" Another wonderful chapter! Much like your Amber character, I'm a fan of the classics, and I must say, your prose and fluid writing style keeps me as riveted as any Shakespeare novel or epic poem. The 'dark turn' the Rex takes in this chapter and the allusions of further to come seems like a natural evolution of a man with such proclivities. I'd be interested to know about your inspiration for such a vivid story arc, and must once again commend you on your execution. I've read some of your other stories and, while having not commented on any others, your unilateral style and structure choices are sublimely refreshing. Also, please check your PMs. This hardly seems necessary, but, for balance's sake: Story: 10/10 Structure: 10/10 Style: 10/10 Overall: 10/10
2012-05-27 20:55:09 THE NEW GODS 1: Babydoll Crush An absolutely outstanding beginning to a scintillating and intriguing story arc! The use of the Olympian cannon and the third-person perspective give this a unique flow, and I appreciate the subtle changes to first-person narrative along the way. ("Damn, she nailed that part!") Some people have accused what little I've submitted to this site to be some of the best erotic writing they've ever read. But even I must tip my hat to you for this one. Please, for the love of all that is good and holy, continue this arc. You owe it to the this sick, debauched community to grace it with some more of your classy, erotic style of fantasy writing! Story: 10/10 Structure: 10/10 Style: 10/10 Overall: 10/10 (I've used this scale to critique and rate many a story, both on here and elsewhere. But believe me, this piece of work deserves a 13 or 14 easily!)
2012-05-27 20:53:37 THE NEW GODS 1: Babydoll Crush An absolutely outstanding beginning to a scintillating and intriguing story arc! The use of the Olympian cannon and the third-person perspective give this a unique flow, and I appreciate the subtle changes to first-person narrative along the way. ("Damn, she nailed that part!") Some people have accused what little I've submitted to this site to be some of the best erotic writing they've ever read. But even I must tip my hat to you for this one. Please, for the love of all that is good and holy, continue this arc. You owe it to the this sick, debauched community to grace it with some more of your classy, erotic style of fantasy writing! Story: 10/10 Structure: 10/10 Style: 10/10 Overall: 10/10 (I've used this scale to critique and rate many a story, both on here and elsewhere. But believe me, this piece of work deserves a 13 or 14 easily!)
2012-03-20 04:05:41 Kimmy, My Cumslut: Chapter 4 - Kimmy's Beaten Buns Hmm... I wonder why this one has been the lowest rated of the chapters thus far. I did step a little outside of my comfort zone with the disciplinary actions in the later part of it. More likely though I think it's just the people that read those types of categories on here don't much like the 10 year old part... But anyway, to my genuine readers: I'd hate to give a timeframe on chapter 5, as my last predictions/promises have been wrong each time. I'll just say 'soon' for now. Keep the comments and criticism coming. And please, if you read and rate, please comment and lemme know what you think! ^_^
2012-03-05 01:08:31 Kimmy, My Cumslut: Chapter 3 - Kimmy's Hungry Starfish I did say a week, and I know it's been longer. But after months between this chapter and the last, I wanted to give my readers a little more time to realize the new chapter was out and be able to read it. The delays this time are on purpose. I have the next chapter already typed and ready to go. I'll post it late Tuesday night. Thanks for all the comments/votes. We're going with option 1 it seems. To all those suggesting I do both in tandem: I really feel that going down both roads at once might get confusing - both for me and most readers. Besides, I'd like to keep this storyline linear, as I will be incorporating these characters into other story arcs I'm working on releasing in the near future. Keep the feedback coming and look forward to chapter 4 and possibly 5 in a few days!
2012-02-18 23:41:57 Kimmy, My Cumslut: Chapter 3 - Kimmy's Hungry Starfish Thanks for all the comments so far. I'm getting about the sort of responses I was expecting, just perhaps not so many. I can agree that the shy version is both more appealing and realistic, but as I said, I hit a crossroads and wanted my readers to decide where to take it. It's not even been a day yet though, so, I'll leave this up for about a week or so (an ACTUAL week this time ^_^) before I post chapter 4. Also, I want to apologize for all of the spelling and grammar error in the last few paragraphs. As I finished my editing last night before I posted, I was incredibly tired. Hemingway was right, write drunk, edit sober [and awake]. ^_^ Keep the comments coming!
2012-01-22 00:07:08 Kimmy, My Cumslut: Chapter 2 - Kimmy's Eager Kitty I want to take an opportunity to apologize to anyone tracking my story. I work retail so the holidays got horrendously busy. Piled on with family matters, I just couldn't find the time until recently. When I went back for one final edit before submission just today, I decided to make some minor changes to this chapter that ended up taking the entirety of everything I'd written thereafter. I'll be spending the next few days rewriting the third and fourth chapter and hopefully be releasing them late next week. So sorry to those I've disappointed my taking so long. Thanks for all the support and constructive criticism. And to those that continue to hate, fuck you up the ass, sideways, with a wooden spoon. See you all in a week, promise!
2011-11-12 02:19:52 Kimmy, My Cumslut: Chapter 2 - Kimmy's Eager Kitty @dosukinuta03: No offense taken. I was alot more focused when I wrote the first chapter and when I went to edit the second chapter before posting it, I later realized I over analyzed some parts, made too many changes, and some of the arc became incoherent. So really, I agree with your assessment. =P To those of you making suggestions for things to come, bare in mind that they're caught in a snow storm. Anyone who will join the story later will come MUCH later. I intend for at least the next two, possibly three chapters, to be just the two of them. I maybe should have said that sooner. So I'll take the suggestions given thus far under advisement, but if anyone wants to offer any more direction, it should involve just daddy and daughter... at least for now.
2011-11-09 09:03:19 Kimmy, My Cumslut: Chapter 1 - Kimmy's Empty Stomach Part 2 has now been released - Kimmy's Eager Kitty. It's quite a bit shorter than this chapter, but no less entertaining. Chapter three may be released by the end of next week, give or take a few days.
2011-11-05 20:29:23 Kimmy, My Cumslut: Chapter 1 - Kimmy's Empty Stomach @2011-11-04 07:50:10 Get out of the stories flashed young. You're on a fetish site, you're no saint/white knight. To everyone else not making illogical comments, thank you. I'll post the second chapter by wednesday next week. Give people more time trip read this one.
2011-11-03 15:12:11 Sister's Curiousities Entirely too much use of the words 'lightly' 'gently' and 'softly'. There was one sentence in the middle there where you used all three. The prose was childish and the sentence structure was non-existent. Good scene and I encourage you to keep writing, but learn how to form cogent paragraphs and expand your vocabulary so that it's more enjoyable. Story: 6/10 Structure: 2/10 Style: 0/10 Overall: 4/10
2011-06-30 20:53:00 Little Amy's first time with Anal as a bonus With as many stories as he's posted, most of them negatively geared toward pedophiles and others merely raunchy, poorly-written attempts at decent S&M story arcs, I'm led to believe this man is some manner of professional troll. Keep wasting your time on these shitty, pointless stories. Maybe one day you'll be hired by Fox News to be a reporter.
2011-06-30 20:36:05 Girl's School for the Blind Excellent story. One of the best I've read in a while. The story arc is simple, the characters are not too dynamic, and the eroticism is intense. Makes for a decently detailed cum rag. Which is not to say your exceptional writing style doesn't shine through, because it does. It's almost as though you wanted it to be more story and less sex, but the median you found worked beautifully. Story: 9/10 Structure: 9/10 Style: 10/10 Overall: 9/10
2011-03-01 02:49:40 Well done indeed. While a holistically unrealistic story arc, the eroticism was definitely arousing on several levels. Great build-up to the fact that Tammy was having an affair with a woman, and the final scene was well structured. However, the story as a whole was largely underdeveloped. Firstly, "Chapter Two" was hardly a chapter at all, and could have been rolled into "Chapter Three". Also, I could find no detailed description of either woman through the entirety of the text, short of a comparison to Heather and the fact Casey and Tammy were blonde. More character details would have made it more vivid. The scene of Tammy walking in on them, I felt, was too short in detail as well. The weight of the situation didn't quite come through. Overall, it was good, but could have been better. If this was meant as a short-form story meant to be an entry in one's "spank bank", mission accomplished. Structure: 5/10 Story: 7/10 Style: 4/10 Overall: 5/10
2010-05-09 14:49:52 A curious daughter I can't say this wasn't an arousing story, but the presumed age of little Clarice debunks the credibility of the story as a whole. I don't doubt that, were this to occur in reality, it would play out much like this. But the pensiveness of a little girl would surely prevent her from acting on her curiosities that same night, regardless of the safety net provided a deep drunken sleep. That aside, this was an excellent first chapter. The only other contention I'd have is proofreading. Though not too many, this had several easily fixed and easily spotted spelling and grammar errors. Rereading your own story once completed, while seemingly tedious, goes a long way for overall readability. All that being said, good story, great details and excellent perspective in the use of the third-party "innocent little girl" standpoint. Structure: 7/10 Story: 7/10 Style: 8/10

 

 

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