Comments from BlackRonin
|2011-07-17 02:08:05||This isn't bad, although it didn't quite grip me. The measured pace and controlled tone are easy on the reader, and from a technical perspective it's generally clean and precise (some weird capitalization choices though).|
|2011-07-17 02:16:57||Penny, May I Rescue you from Hell?||This was compelling right off the bat, which is always nice to see. Lots of stories spend there first couple of paragraphs giving exposition or telling us how big the main character's tits are (or whatever), but I always think a better use of those all-important opening lines is to set up a conflict or ask a question. I dug the exploitative style throughout as well. If I had to complain, I'd say it wrapped up in too much of a hurry, but no story is perfect.|
|2011-09-06 03:17:41||-to be loved superficially is better than being ignored entirely.-
I like that.
|2011-09-12 05:56:55||Theme Spotlight Series: Alien - The Cornfield Rape||I like the idea of spotlighting each theme. Keep writing.|
|2011-09-12 07:00:30||The Wolf||Decent, but too brief. This plot could serve for something 10,000 words long.|