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Comments from BlackRonin

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Date Story title Comment
2012-08-10 07:25:27 New Arrivals. You obviously didn't understand the story at all, my previous dear Anonymous Reader, and indeed, I prefer it that way. Please feel free to never read one of my stories again if you're going to ugly them up with your hateful, ignorant, racist comments. In fact, don't read them even if you're not going to comment. Just plain stop reading.
2012-09-18 01:35:39 A Pale Horse. Um, yes, ghost story. Was that not clear?
2012-09-19 01:59:17 a very bad nightmare I'm sorry, but this is almost unreadable as it is. Try breaking it up with some indents and posting it again, I'm sure it will prove more popular.
2012-10-04 02:47:05 Breaking in Katee This is not bad. You juggled the multiple perspectives pretty well and each of the three characters was felt fairly well-drawn and organic. My one big criticism would be that the scene where Josh confesses to his father just doesn't make sense; why on earth would he do that? Now, I get that it's a fuck story and an incest story to boot, so logic takes a backseat to necessitating fuck scenes, but in many other aspects the psychology of the characters, from Josh's sudden anxiety to Katee's initial trauma, feels pretty sound. To suddenly switch from that to something more implausible broke the story a bit. Criticism aside, this is a good read. I'd keep it up.
2012-10-04 15:31:49 Breaking in Katee Well, it's less the problem of a lack of explanation and more a lack of explanation that makes sense or is at all consistent. I can't imagine anyone in that situation coming forward so candidly. Of course, the story is full of unlikely actions and motivations and that is, by and large, the point, but as I said, that it feels very grounded sometimes and not others detracts from it a bit. In any case, no story is perfect. Personally, I think you should keep posting here, as there's no use hiding your work from the people who would see it here otherwise. But of course, it's your decision. I'll look for your material elsewhere if you make a move.
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