| Date |
Story title |
Comment |
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| 2010-06-27 01:10:41 |
Mind of a rapist- |
Very well written! Abit too much thought of the protaganist though, but not enough to spoil the mood =D Thumbs up! |
| 2010-06-27 00:59:32 |
I fucked my sister |
Truth be told, I didn't really enjoy the story. Here are a few reasons:
1) There was an inappropriate amount of swearing. Spoils the mood.
2) There were too many unneccessary sentences, like
Come on man, why do you have to bring my sister into this. I answered, showing my not wanting to talk about my sister.
the second part of the sentence is pretty redundant.
Yea and the story was cliche. So you might wanna work on that. |
| 2009-11-14 20:43:47 |
Unfathomable Fantasies I - Rape of Amelia and Yen Yi (Part 2) |
thanks for the nice comments. ok, i will do it in the last installment =) |
| 2009-11-14 10:08:46 |
Unfathomable Fantasies I - Rape of Amelia and Yen Yi (Part 2) |
Thank you =) I did spend more time on this one. What i'm afraid is that people dun like this genre =( |
| 2009-11-12 02:29:03 |
Sabrina the Teenage Bitch |
yes. jackass needs to work on realism..otherwise its good |
| 2009-11-10 04:48:40 |
Unfatomable fantasies I - Rape of Amelia and Yen Yi (Part 1) |
thanks, have been waiting for a comment like yours. Firstly, i pride myself in trying to be realistic, especially the XXX parts cause i find half hearted stuff really dry. so i decided to write my own. ya, i know i get abit carried away with dialogue. yea grammar might be a lil problem when you rush abit. (parents were getting home) Also, 101 play only 91 get to 'play'. anyway, thanks for your comments and wowie, recommendation! haha, i'm flattered really. stay tuned for part 2, its going to be done soon. to all readers, don't be too stunned by the large number, part 2 will explain abit more. |
| 2009-11-09 17:52:44 |
Daughter's Friend |
this is pretty good writing. although yes i agree with some readers, this cant get any longer. You could have stopped after he did the daughter and it would be just nice. Too many sex scenes makes it repetitive. And here we go once again, submissive women lol. |
| 2009-11-09 04:08:38 |
Taking HIs Sister |
Yes its good but there we have once again a story with "noo, i'm getting rape....hey its FUN!" its getting dry and very sickening. Cant for once get a full rape without the victim enjoying it? |
| 2009-11-08 23:32:56 |
Truth or Dare |
nicely written. not too unbelievable. thumbs up. |
| 2009-11-08 23:24:24 |
Pregnant teen neighbor |
Very nice! Finally I've read something not too corny with too elaborate details and yet not too submissive either! A lot of realism! +1 =) But i dun understand wats nice about pregnant lol |
| 2009-11-08 09:41:09 |
Unfatomable fantasies I - Rape of Amelia and Yen Yi (Part 1) |
hmm. ya maybe. didnt think of that. i'm sorry for typos. |
| 2009-11-07 23:39:45 |
Boys and girls together |
cough. this is bad. the lack of realism really is quite sickening. its like a badly directed porn vid. yes abt the grades i think you screwed up abit. elementary school is not wat you described. and wtf 'nipples as big as DIMES??" holy shit. pls be realistic. and refrain frm over spamming tags that DONT exist in your story. thank you. let's keep this X community hot. =) work harder! |
| 2009-11-07 22:23:18 |
Unfatomable fantasies I - Rape of Amelia and Yen Yi (Part 1) |
Hi, firstly thanks for reading my story! Its my first one. And if you thought it was good, do leave a comment telling me why so i can continue to apply it and if you thought i wasnt, please tell me why to, i'd like to improve. thanks |
| 2009-11-07 22:21:56 |
Young Lust, First Lust. Sweet Devotion. |
I agree with the guy. THis belongs a love novel. This is kinda softcore. But i seriosuly applaud the writing. *claps* |
| 2009-11-05 19:41:53 |
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Yes, i fully agree, spelling errors softens the dick. And also, the general trend which is so sad around here is that the writers all make the story too unbelievable. As though every pre-teen girl was sexually aggressive. The protaganists around here all don't need to work for it. I think stories would be better if they had described abit on how the main guy coaxes the girl or how he plans his rape etc... |
| 2009-11-05 05:56:43 |
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Hey JackassTales, great story. But why don't you try writing a story without the exaggeration? I know about your disclaimer. But I felt that the protaganist had it too easy, it'll be better if you wrote in parts about coaxing. Because slutwhores that throw themselves at you hardly exist and are hard to relate to. If you made it more believable and ditch the old lady, it'll be great. Because i cant understand how a 12 year old pretty girl would just show her breasts so willingly oor decide to have sex see. Just my 2 cents. Hope to see your better works in the future. =) |