Comments from Redlust
|2009-11-01 02:17:37||My Neighbor's Incest Part XII||I guessed it! yes! for the win. another great story. can't wait for more|
|2009-12-06 20:35:58||The Homecoming Ch. 1-3||dammit I got up to the Dinner scene and I got hungry, I have to eat something before continuing. my mouth was watering over steak and fries when it should be watering about the women. good imagery nonetheless|
|2010-03-27 01:42:17||WHAT TURNS ME ON||Another great work LT. You are an amazing writer as I have said before and undoubtedly will say again.|
|2010-04-20 04:08:32||Allison and the Primdales, Part 1 Chapter 20||aha I take back 80% of my criticism that is a crucial misreading on my part. still as I remember it sex ed classes were not even that informative. granted that it must differ state to state, school to school, and probably teacher to teacher. but hymen wasn't mentioned in my classes.
there are stories out there that go even further so your slight exaggeration doesn't even register. I read one where the school nurse put a girl on the pill the other day and about flipped my shit. once again my bad.
|2010-04-30 03:31:10||An incest birthday chapter 3||I enjoyed it, I think you need to separate the dialogue into different paragraphs. Especially when there is a three person conversation its too confusing lumped all in one. Grammar 101 stuff. A spelling and grammar check would be useful too.
I also thought there were places that needed more development, there is no transition from yard work to date, which is jarring
There is problems with driving stuff . First he says he is going to take his test at first opportunity. Then is driving on the date, and it seemed that that was the same day.
The ending as others said before was predictable but fun. look forward to part 4