| Date |
Story title |
Comment |
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| 2013-04-02 15:34:02 |
getting my daughters pregnant |
Who are all the girls that will have an orgy?
Not only was your grammar and spelling bad but you make statements that have not been setup for the story.
Please let it die and continue as a reader only. |
| 2013-03-28 18:58:19 |
FIre Class: Falling in Love |
This is hard to read do to gramar, misspelling and poor english. Sorry |
| 2013-03-25 19:50:53 |
Fire Class: Becoming a Mage |
REPORTED and you will be banned for copyright infringement. |
| 2013-03-23 19:26:51 |
Red Hawk the Spear Maker(Part 2 The Slavers) |
I have advised the admins of this plagiarism which is a bannable offence, you can expect it and the author to disappear. |
| 2013-03-17 23:28:37 |
Last 10 Seconds |
Well written and stands the test of time.
Welcome to the neighbourhood. |
| 2013-03-08 21:00:33 |
Andromeda1 |
For those of you that have not posted stories here most authors do format their stories BUT this site runs archaic software that does not recognise that formatting.
To all authors; when you format here you have to double space between paragraphs to get one spacing. |
| 2013-03-07 00:39:56 |
Eternal Destiny: Chapter One |
The loss of one's parent is only exceeded by the loss of ones Love or child.
You let her grieve but don't leave her alone to do it, she needs your support and love more than ever. Comfort her and listen when she needs you to and always remind her of the good times and the love.
Mishikail honour your mother but remember she is alive in your heart and in the memories of those who knew. Celebrate that.
"When you are sorrowful look again in your heart, and you shall see that in truth you are weeping for that which has been your delight."
"What is it to cease breathing, but to free the breath from its restless tides, that it may rise and expand and seek God unencumbered?" |
| 2013-03-04 11:30:53 |
The Reluctant Hero © pcp 2013. |
I might continue this, it depends on the me that wrote it though. What typos did you mean?
Sorry about the bold, it was suppose to be just the title.
Demented? Demented? Oh, I see what you mean.
Let me know where you are and I will definitely kick you. We have a personal section for this stuff but seeing as you are underage your ISP would be banned. |
| 2013-03-03 00:22:13 |
In the Valley of the Amazons-5: Betrayal |
The way you ended this chapter for tells of real tragedy to come. Maybe the loss of a main character that we've all come to love?
Anxiously awaiting the next instalment. |
| 2013-02-27 16:37:39 |
In the Valley of the Amazons-4: Eternal Love |
Last seen here January 20/13 |
| 2013-02-23 23:37:04 |
Eternal Darkness: Chapter Seven |
Last activity date for this member was Feb. 10/13, so either he is awaiting cash to purchase a new PC or Elvis has left the building.
If they post anything else great if not be grateful for what you got. |
| 2013-02-10 11:45:58 |
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The hero does not always have to be the strongest, if he is why then does he have to fear the villain? As for Myka being stronger, it seems from the story line that this form of magic comes from a traumatic event in the person's life and maybe the younger you are the more open you are to being over run by it. Remember Myka is not a WarMage and might never become one as children change what they want to be many times in their lives. She might become a great healer after being put into a position of seeing many hurt/dying. Only the story teller knows. |
| 2013-02-10 09:47:07 |
Eternal Darkness: Chapter Seven |
Mishi; did you ever think that maybe he let his desk get messy and sat his lappy precariously knowing that you would feel the need to clean just to get a new PC?
As for what is on the disc drive a reputable PC repair shop should be able to recover all on it if they actually know what they are doing.
Capitias; way to go bro, you actually got a woman to mea culpa & get a new laptop. You are a god amongst men. :lol: |
| 2013-02-03 00:25:38 |
|
This has been an enjoyable read and yes you do make fewer mistakes word wise now. Most grammatical checks don't pick up wrong words being used (MS Word does, probably only thing MS ever got almost correct. :lol) but there is a freebie called AbiWord that is very good and a lot like Word only better as it is not MS. |
| 2013-02-01 22:51:20 |
The Existence - Chapter 2 |
We need a few more of Existence after the losses of Modern Mage's last chapter, to explain how Arthur and the bar handled it.
Maybe have him modernize it with POS and computers, etc. |
| 2013-01-31 00:19:39 |
Modern Mage Chapter 23 |
A great adventure and a good way to complete it but not end the story.
Thank-you. |
| 2013-01-26 23:26:44 |
In the Valley of the Amazons-3:Hosi's Challenge |
I agree that this was another great instalment but think that you should have postponed it a few chapters. That though is just my 2¢ worth, I think that soon we will have another snake in the grass when the 5 new men join up, as not all might be willing to live by women's rules. That could have been a reason that Reta used for her attempted coup d'état. |
| 2013-01-20 00:03:08 |
Modern Mage Chapter 19 |
Okay guy get your arse over here so that I can strike you.
This was a good chapter, I am surprised that you made her a Daywalker, as I just assumed that you were writing based upon True Vampires. If you read Dracula you will see that he went out in the day time. Night only Vampires are an invention of Hollywood.
I again await the next edition and say write on. |
| 2013-01-18 01:21:28 |
Modern Mage - A Hunter's Dilemma |
A good filler and it adds another dimension to these tales as it lets us know how Roarke, and maybe even others, thinks outside of the main story line. |
| 2012-12-20 08:54:36 |
My cousin Lili (Part 1) |
Is he her cousin or uncle? once ti got to that conflict I stopped reading, sorry mate.
Negative from me. |
| 2012-11-23 10:39:18 |
A Normal Family: Chapter One |
This whole story was a blow job commited by the author. |
| 2012-11-10 16:39:17 |
Strawberry (Chap 10) |
I'm just sorry that this became more about others then Strawberry and her momma. You should have called these stories "Kelly's Tail" and "Three Little ..."
But at least you didn't leave us dangling. |
| 2012-11-05 15:51:45 |
The Librarian and the Bartender, Part two |
A good ending to a good story, even though I'm sure most knew it was Emily. Now you should really link a Librarian and a babysitter in a story.
Thank-you for a good read, now if only the Admins would only allow members to vote to prevent people from voting down stories. |
| 2012-11-05 15:33:58 |
The Librarian and the Bartender |
You are a very talented story teller, making your characters real and relate-able. This is definitely enjoyable and better than many posted here. A love story for any author's site. |
| 2012-09-26 20:57:06 |
Me and my sisters friends |
What's your age boy, I say what's your age? |
| 2012-09-14 19:33:56 |
Dirty Little Stepdaughter |
Pls end it here, that's how bad it is. |
| 2012-09-03 19:13:07 |
Modern Mage - Chapter 14 |
Good spacing between the next action cycle and the last.
dathel0101, it is similar to what they do on Dr. Who when getting you ready for the next adventure cycle by explaining the whatnots of the story. |
| 2012-09-03 19:13:07 |
Modern Mage - Chapter 14 |
Good spacing between the next action cycle and the last.
dathel0101, it is similar to what they do on Dr. Who when getting you ready for the next adventure cycle by explaining the whatnots of the story. |
| 2012-09-03 19:13:05 |
Modern Mage - Chapter 14 |
Good spacing between the next action cycle and the last.
dathel0101, it is similar to what they do on Dr. Who when getting you ready for the next adventure cycle by explaining the whatnots of the story. |
| 2012-08-22 14:41:42 |
Together with Angela Pt3 |
I voted negative because including the Aunt was so predictable. You should have had them become lovers for a period of time first, then brought in others if that was your plan but no so readily/easily.
Next mommy will join and then he has a harem. Every writer here goes that way it seems. No originality. |
| 2012-08-13 14:02:32 |
The Djinn |
Was Roque a shemale? You keep writting "He" when talking about her.
e.g.: "as he put her fairly short hair into a ponytail"
"He had an M1A1 with a silencer on her back" |
| 2012-08-03 21:39:46 |
My Pretty Little Slaves |
Do us All a favour no Capter 2, please. |
| 2012-05-29 11:06:02 |
The Project |
Please stop hitting enter after each sentence or so,. Write it in Word or similar program and it should catch major spelling and grammar mistakes.
The spacing makes it hard to read. |
| 2012-05-28 22:11:33 |
I CAN'T RESIST MY NEIGHBOR-OR HER TEENAGE GIRLS!-2 |
The only thing that bothers me is the excessive use of the word 'honey' by all 3 characters. I could understand one saying it so much, maybe even 2 but all 3 is really stretching the point a bit.
Most people use it as a term of endearment to another like a pet name or this a region respectivee idiom?
I am enjoying this and hope that you don't turn it into a family orgy tale with all involved.
Have the twins find out and at first think he is forcing Kat but then realize that she Loves him and wants to help their mom by sharing for the moment. Have him and Cyn become life long lovers and Kat become a life long friend while the twins move on to their own lives with fond memories for Tony. |
| 2012-05-27 15:52:32 |
The Innocent Neighbor Girl Part V |
Well now they cannot blackmail Derreck anymore, as he can point out Dad & Mom can not only join him in jail but can also be sent back to China. |
| 2012-05-27 15:26:44 |
Deep needs of a teen |
A preteen is 12 or younger, not 15. |
| 2012-04-10 12:03:46 |
|
So when does it "gets very good"?
Negavote. |
| 2012-04-08 09:19:20 |
my neice |
Has been Reported, this member will be banned. |
| 2012-04-03 07:03:51 |
Please stop part 2 |
Do us a favour and make this your last. |
| 2012-03-13 13:59:53 |
The Girls Next Door ? 7 CJ?s Birthday Surprise |
You might want to get Amanda thinking of telling her mom that she wants to have his kids but Please, Please don't get the mother involved other than to realise that her daughter is happy and grows to be fond of our hero.
Also CJ's older sisters should be left out, unless one of them has had a crush on him since her early teens and comes home for a quick visit but realises that Amanda is his new love.
|
| 2012-03-05 17:11:39 |
Fucking Teagan |
You have started a good series by not getting into sex right away, as most do.
This makes for a good story and will entitle you to become a preferred writer here if you keep it up.
Definitely a PR. |
| 2012-03-04 02:56:25 |
Sara Protective Dad Part 10 |
Finish it off with dr bastard and his goons getting their just deserts, have them in Colorado enjoying themselves but helping others too.
Do not let this slip into just being a sex romp, keep their adventure going. |
| 2012-02-19 10:12:35 |
Kimmy, My Cumslut: Chapter 3 - Kimmy's Hungry Starfish |
Or 3.
His wife died in a car accident and he has not come to terms with it. He has various dreams about his daughter, who is in the hospital from the same accident. |
| 2012-02-13 12:08:26 |
The Teacher Fuck |
Are you sure you are of age to be here? I know 12 year olds that write better. |
| 2012-02-07 13:43:21 |
The Absolute Perfect Girl |
It is layed beside me not lied. |
| 2012-02-02 16:18:41 |
A day of fucking two Dykes and a Tyke. |
Good story although at that age Elly is no longer anywhere being near a tyke.
You have the start of a series if you want to go that route. |
| 2012-01-28 23:52:47 |
Adam 4 - Seduced by Megan's Tutor |
You should keep a list of your characters' names.
This girl's name was originally Brooke while Judy was Megan's 5 foot, heavy girlfriend whom he has already fucked in Chapter 2.
It should turn out that Abby is preggers by Adam and that is why she did the girlfriends father. |
| 2012-01-15 23:25:08 |
My Neighbor's Incest Part XIX The End |
It has been 2 years now since bistander left us. This series is a testament of good writing techniques and its ending, like life is never what we expect or hope for.
May the authour be having the happy ending that he looked for himself. |
| 2012-01-07 11:19:08 |
The Clan |
Spelling & Grammar errors can be lessened by using "Word" or similar program. Then Copy/Paste it for submission.
This seems like it could have become a good series but you ended it too soon. You should have been a little more forthcoming on their being chased & given more info on how their army grew by meeting certain characters and why they picked that town, etc.. |
| 2011-12-11 09:11:48 |
My private times with my wife's hot 18 year old cousin Jamie |
Just remember the positive statements were Sacastic.
In the words of WWE fans: You Suck! |
| 2011-10-17 15:32:29 |
Girls at the beach |
How did his girlfriend and her friend suddenly morf into the three young girls he saw at the beach? If you cannot keep your story straight please do not post it. |
| 2011-09-14 11:33:45 |
My disgusting experience with Daddy: Part 10 |
You better end it with her going to the cops & Daddy getting an arse fuck by Bubba in prison before a shiv & his boys getting prison & sex crimes listing, if you want the ending to be true to the story.
If you have them being a lusting family then all future stories will get less reads as being unbelievable.
|
| 2011-08-31 12:50:05 |
A Dad's Fantasy: Chapter 4 |
Another good series ruined by a writer that cannot play to his audience and had not the sense to leave well enough alone.
Next they will get raped by good ol boys of some sort at some dump, garage or gin joint. Maybe she'll even be injured or killed and him blaming himself. Same Old, Same Old.
Personally don't bother if that's were this is heading as this chapter wasn't even worth the Internet space it took up. The quality has fallen off. |
| 2011-08-17 09:06:55 |
Crossroads of my life - Part 1 |
Good entry with just the proper amount of story line and sexual interaction.
I would suggest that you write it on "Word" or a similar proggie that has a grammar as well as a spell checker. That should at least pick up most misspellings and errors in language.
After having that done then re-read the story and if satisfied copy and paste it for submission.
Good luck & keep writing. |
| 2011-08-13 18:33:04 |
Ranchland - Chapter 1 |
It seems no one has picked up that Ben & his sister were adopted, so maybe they themselves were not blood related thus making his niece fair game.
Keep the story going and make it a love story as well as about their sexual coming together. Let them discover each other and grow while keeping the kinkiness down.
Check the site, these are the type of stories that get reviews and last longest on the most popular lists.
|
| 2011-06-12 16:14:37 |
Defying My Family |
Good story, you just have to keep your thoughts straight. You have him kicking the guy but say I fell to the ground.
Best way to write a story is use a word proggie with grammar & spell check (though it would not find the example i gave) and then paste it here. |
| 2010-06-14 18:01:17 |
A Kind Stranger part 1 & 2 |
BRAVO!
A Very Good and well written story.
For those that wished it was true, you paid the author one of the highest compliments a reader could. It proved that touching the human spirit is something that can be achieved.
I look forward to reading more of your work. |
| 2010-05-28 22:00:31 |
Young Fun #2 |
So what will middle sister do when she finds out? |
| 2010-05-05 23:39:03 |
CAMP: Sibling Rivalry (Ch. 5) |
Eric is of course not happy to have his copyrighted story infringed. You have actually put this site into jeopardy of being sued by not obtaining his permission first before reprinting it here.. |
| 2010-04-17 17:53:56 |
A Very Difficult Daughter |
One of the best that I keep rereading.
I am sure that you had posted it at another site where I first read it & was glad to find it here to-day. |
| 2009-11-23 16:15:01 |
My Neighbor's Incest Part XIV |
It is a good series but you have to start fixating more on Joe & his experiences rather than the girls' parents. I think it is time for him & the sisters to decide on their relationship amongst themselves & have realize that Cindy is his Love too.
Live together in Love so that Harmony might reign. |
| 2009-11-19 19:19:56 |
Artist 8 - Donna's Sleepover |
No don't nail Maryanne's mother, have it that he always avoids her driving her mad for it.
Have Patty get a friend that has to bring her year younger sister who turns out to be a real sex vixen that starts a Lets Fuck Danny Club. |
| 2009-11-04 15:30:23 |
Daddy Gets Candy II, Everybody Else |
The wife dying was hard for me as I went through that & it still hurts. It is a good story, although it now feels like it could go into a survivalist type.
|
| 2009-10-30 19:33:49 |
Matt's Little Sister |
I would not be surprised to find out that he already knows, either read the docs or else Rohnda told him. The doorbell(?) is the neighbour girls, soon his daughter & they will be his & each others lovers. |
| 2009-10-27 00:13:42 |
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JT; you did it again. I'd take my hat off to you but I only wear one outside in winter. Your stories always have a touch of Life humour to them which makes them more enjoyable IMHO. |
| 2009-10-27 00:08:43 |
Little sis, Big sis, and Me |
Like Jackass, I be no dummy. I too wonder why you would read anything that out & out tells you that it might be objectionable to your mores, unless you are a closeted prevert.
To Li Syaoran; I think that he's trying to make them hillbillies from his talkin. :lol: |
| 2009-10-26 20:48:40 |
11th Birthday |
This is how it really is guys so get use to it fantasy is healthy but it is healthier when it is mixed with reality.
Only Complaint that I have is that it is posted as "Written by women" but author is Male 70. |
| 2009-10-20 16:21:44 |
Educating the girls Part 1 |
You are a mouse that makes me roar. |
| 2009-10-07 19:32:42 |
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The second is now posted. |
| 2009-10-07 19:31:20 |
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More cumming soon. The Original was by another author at an old site who allowed the story to lapse. |
| 2009-10-07 19:27:07 |
Neighbor kids, part 4 |
So what did you write the first chapter under? |
| 2009-10-04 15:22:01 |
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This is either fiction/Alex is, as just like a girl you only lose it once.
The board should have a truth in writing policy for True stories. :lol: |
| 2009-10-04 15:18:53 |
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This is either fiction/Alex is, as just like a girl you only lose it once.
The board should have a truth in writing policy for True stories. :lol: |
| 2009-09-03 18:44:52 |
New Town, New Life |
I agree that your use of a Field was weak plot device & WTF just because it stops STI's does not mean that it stops pregnancies, 2 different things.
You should play that up as having Mom misinformed.
I also agree that going into the incest right off was too soon. I mean Mom & kids sort of accepted it as a given without any "Gee should we do it?"
Write some more but give it a bit more thought first. |
| 2009-08-09 16:19:17 |
South of The Border |
I too voted negative because of the initials, use names it's not like we know you or the people you mention.
Also 'D' was a minipulative bitch wasn't she. |
| 2009-07-26 14:07:11 |
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Have Dan bring his daughter over, while they are going at the girls have Clare come home & catch them. Have Sam find out that Clare is not a forgiving mother. Have her & the girls turn the guys into their bitches, with the guys bemoaning the turn of events but fearing Bubba in prison more than degradation. |