Comments from Incest_Siren
|2009-06-20 15:48:13||Nyla Black Girl||Constructive Criticism:
Watch the contradictions.
They just met on the court, but they already know where each other lives?
One has already been in the other's room?
The story itself is good. Take your time writing it. Again, I'll re-iterate the same advice I've given you - proof read your work. Look for contradictions, and mistakes.
Separate conversation so it's easier to follow. Identify each speaker.
You did do a good job over all of breaking up your paragraphs so even though the talking was confusing to follow, it was easy to pick up the story past the conversation.
You have great potential. Keep writing.... and take a few evenings out for a creative writing course. You'll benefit greatly from it.
|2009-06-20 19:12:46||I have a few things to say.
To the negative and ignorant commenter(s):
1 - Don't read it.
2 - It's a story - get over it.
3 - It's a woman author - read about the person before you make yourself sound stupid.
To the Positive and Creative suggestive storyline folk:
1 - It's her story. Let the story take her where it will. You enjoy it or you wouldn't be following it.
To the Author:
1 - Great story.
2 - Great writing format and style.
3 - Ignore the negativity.
4 - Let the story carry you where it will. You have great talent and creativity.
|2009-06-27 19:17:27||Conneticut||Aside from misspelling the state (Connecticut) I thought it was a good story. Good Job.|