||Family Paries and Aftermath
||The last line is the greatest. Very clever
||Lions of Scarborough
art is art. You're free to interperate it as you like. ;)
Thankyou for reading. please check out some of my other stuff! :)
the Young Author
||Close Your Eyes Little Girly Boy
||You are an excellent writer. It's easy to tell, even from these sex stories.
Please continue with not only these stories, but your other writing as well. : )
the Young Author
||Boyfriend Sex Pt. 1
||that really sucks for kyle. :P
why didn't david want to have sex with kyle?
||Guardian Angel Chapter 2
||every couple sentences, you switch between past and present tense.
good story idea,
just doublecheck your work before you post it.
||this was an interesting idea.
with some more time and work, it could be a lot better.
||3 Gay Guys 1 Sleepover part 3
||latest obsession #2
||the reader below me....
is talking about having sex with robots...
Why is this?
||Oh the Suspence
||you spelled suspense wrong.
in the title.
||Dad's best Friend
||it's kinda difficult to read.
I kept getting lost, and skipping lines.
||A Whole New World
||a little long-winded.
Try to let the plot progress smoother
and show events to a reader, don't just list them.
good for a first time.
||The concluding passage describes the imaginary world Amber and the boy live in. (notice I never give him a name)
It illustrates how he only sees a black sky, and the only color is the neon lights that mimick the actions and passions of the young couple.
The last line shows that it's the people's own descision to see the world in technicolor, or in black shades.
haha. I just thought I'd bring a little thought to the site. I think this story is VERY different from others posted here.
well, you warned us, I guess. hah
you'll need to change things a bit it you want more people to like it...
||Golden Summer, A moment in time
||these poems were the last thing I expected to find. (hah)
It's good that you feel comfortable and confident enough to post them.
||sex aside, you're a very captivating writer.
keep up the good work.
||best friends part 1
||Nice go for a first story! : D
I suggest writing it on a word processor, then copying and pasting to post on the site.
that'll make it a lot easier to see any errors, etc.